Learn below what makes your Kimmie unique
.png)
The Kimmies consist of 80+ unique attributes that each carry cultural significance. Kimmies also have internal attributes, such as a vaccination and if you're lucky - an invisible phone.
You can't spell the DPRK without People. Kimmie naturally shares an affinity with Doge, the people's coin.
Elon, Bezos and Branson can play around with projectiles all they like, but they know that KJU was the OG Rocket Man.
Ice cold, Kimmie has got that drip for all seasons. This winter coat is inspired by drug kingpin Frank Lucas.
You've heard of the U.S. President's Air Force One, but have you heard of "Air Force Un"?That's Kim Jong Un's private jet that's reportedly worth $1.5 million. Hailing from the Soviet Era – and unable to be updated due to international sanctions – the plane is hardly in the best mechanical shape. But for a man who rarely leaves his own country, the plane doesn't get a lot of airtime anyway.
To celebrate a rocket launch and his own robust leadership, Kim wore a brand new trenchcoat and then made it illegal for anyone else to wear one. The garment is fashionable, practical, waterproof. Just like our Supreme Leader.
Since coming to power Kim has deliberately styled himself in the image of his grandfather – and North Korea’s founder - Kim Il-sung. Rightly or wrongly, the oldest Kim is remembered for ruling over a somewhat more functional country before it all went to hell under Kim Jong-il. It is the reason why Kimmie rocks the classic Mao suit. As with the garment's namesake, Kim is prepared to do whatever it takes, no matter who else has to make sacrifices.
Elon's CFO can play word games all he likes but until he has his own dedicated national treasury, funded by the secretive Bureau 39, there's only one Master of Coin.
“If you had nukes, never give them up. If you don’t have them, get them.” - Kim. It's perhaps this mentality that drives the Kims to bestow themselves with military honours – all well-deserved we're told – like participation awards at a Kindergarten.
Elon may have crowned himself Technoking. But, we all know who rules Tech 3.0. It's Kimmie.
Growing up in secretive at an elite private school in Switzerland, Kim developed a love of the tracksuit. Ah, Europe. Home of culture.
The belle of the ball, Kim scrubs up like a true knight in shining armour. The Supreme Leader rocked this white military suit for the first time as part of an official portrait to mark his tenth year in power. We marked the occasion by launching The Kimmies.
Since the time of Kim Il-sung, the regime has maintained a Kippumjo, or 'pleasure squad', made up of up to 2,000 women to serve, massage and even sing and dance for the the upper-ranks of the Party.
Steve Jobs once said "the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do." Who do you think he was talking about?
When Kim disappears for a minute, the West claim he's dying. When he emerges slim and stunning they say he's sick. Really our man is behind closed doors, lifting big and shredding fast every day. That's leadership. That's commitment.
Hollywood films may be banned north of the 38th parallel, but by golly, we all have our idols. Kim's? The fun-loving, kooky, true star of Batman, the Joker.
In North Korea, ideas of the Korean people and the North Korean state are tied up together, with love of one requiring loyalty to both. The painted face symbolises this now-inherent belief.
The rainbow holds a lot of signficance around the world. For the LGBQTI+ community, it's about inclusion. For the Irish, it signals gold. For North Korea, Kim Jong-il's birth managed to produce a double rainbow – and winter instantly turned to spring.
If you're going to fly that Soviet Era fleet, you better be on Cold War fleek.
One of Kim Jong un's reforms was to allow women to legailse certain female fashions that had been prohibited under his father, including earrings and heels. And yeah, maybe he enjoys the freedoms himself.
All the better to see you with, my dear. Horn-rimmed glasses were introduced by His grandfather Kim Il-sung and to this day, no civilian is allowed to wear glasses that are comparable to those worn by Kim.
The future's so bright, we gotta wear shades.
One of Kim Jong un's reforms was to allow women to legailse certain female fashions that had been prohibited under his father, including earrings and heels. And yeah, maybe he enjoys the freedoms himself.
One of Kim Jong un's reforms was to allow women to legailse certain female fashions that had been prohibited under his father, including earrings and heels. And yeah, maybe he enjoys the freedoms himself.
Growing up on a diet of Coca Cola and John Wayne, Kimmie won't be wronged.
Oh your central bank has the money printers running hot? Not Kim's. With just 666 Kimmies to ever be created, the man understands the value of scarcity. Kim's secretive Bureau 39 is also behind some of the largest cryptocurrency heists in the world.
It's not all about world domination. Sometimes it's about wearing a silk cravat and getting absolutely bombed on Cristal – a favourite in Kim's personal cellar.
Juche is a distinctively North Korean concept. Roughly translating as 'self-reliance', it is the idea that North Korea can forge its own indepedent path without, or even in direct defiance of the rest of the world. The regime even gives out awards named after Kim il-Sung to those who exempliy the ideal.
If you've got it, flaunt it. The Kimmies are more than just a priceless asset, they are an identity and necklace too. If you were a Kimmie, you'd want to the world to know.
NFTs are the future. Kim know the score. The nod to crypto reflects one of the major avenues North Korea secures an income to invest in nation building projects like.... missile testing.
"Even when you're fed up [with international sanctions], you've got to keep your head up." Tupac
Veganism is a crime punishable by death in North Korea. (not really)
Bling bling, bitch.
One of Kim Jong un's reforms was to allow women to legailse certain female fashions that had been prohibited under his father, including earrings and heels. And yeah, maybe he enjoys the freedoms himself.
Punk's not dead.
Peace and love to all Kimmies.
This prison tattoo is commonly understood to represent the murders someone has committed. With Kim knocking off his own family members and countless others, it is only fitting he gets a few.
This prison tattoo is commonly understood to represent the murders someone has committed. With Kim knocking off his own family members and countless others, it is only fitting he gets a few.
Cold lips, cold heart.
The colour of American dollars which the secretive Bureau 39 steals to fund Kim's activities.
Tickled pink.
I never meant to cause you any sorrow. I never meant to cause you any pain. I only wanted to one time to see you laughing. I only wanted to see you laughing in the purple rain.
You're a star. You were born to shine.
What's the point of rising to the top if you dont' savour a little cream when you arrive? Kim's diplomats regularly visit Cuba and bring back with them as many Cuban cigars as they can, slinging them on the black market to generate some extra cash for the country.
Trump wanted to fight hurricanes with nukes. Why haven't we tried doing the same thing with this silly virus?
April is a busy month for North Korea. The 15th is the birthday of Kim Il-Sung. The 21st of his mother. The 25th the birth of the Guerilla army. But the 20th. On the 20th, Kim blazes it.
What's the matter, doc?
Look like a king, live like a god.
Like a 1950s gangster, when Kim makes an offer, you don't refuse. “Finance Is A Gun. Politics Is Knowing When To Pull The Trigger.”
This hairstyle is officially known as "ambitious hair", with young men aspiring to follow the father of the nation, Kim Il-Sung.
"Blue stands for the gallant visage of our people and symbolizes the spirit of the Korean people fighting for world peace and progress." Kim Il-Sung.
In honour of North Korea's rich lignite resources.
Take a look at this little green monster.
Kim in the pink, puts villians in the stink.
Signifies the goddman purple patch we all be having.
This hat was custom-made by a foreign master craftsman using top-of-the-line otter fur. It is an unwritten rule that only special Kimmies may wear such a hat.
Swamp people and deplorables alike, settle down. Kim wants to bring you jackals something you haven't had in a long time. A functioning democratic system.
There's a time for peace and a time for war but Kimmie looks fly seven by 24.
There's a time for peace and a time for war but Kimmie looks fly seven by 24.
If Kim's regular hairdo is run-of-the-mill ambitious, then this one – styled with jet fuel – means serious business.
Frosted on.
In honour of North Korea's rich lignite resources.
Nuclear.
Fabulous and fancy-free.
Royalty. King. Emperor. Ruler.
This hairdo is inspired by Dennis Rodman, North Korea's first and most stylish basketball diplomat. Part of the greatest basketball team of all-time, Rodman visited North Korea and became close friends with the Supreme Leader.
Kim may cut his hair like his old grand papa, but this Guiding Sunray is dragging the world into a new day – whether it wants it or not.
Each Kimmie is called to a shining light for their own patch of the Kimdom,
The first thing you see when you're reborn a Kimmie. The last blinding sight before you leave.
"The best time to start a revolution was 70 years ago. The second best time is when you have the computing power to make it unstoppable." - Ancient Korean Proverb.
When Kimmies mobilise, things are about to get hot. In the word's of Kim Il-Sung, this red represents "the invincible might of our people".
The orchid is the national flower of North Korea. It's only right then that Kim dynasty has taken this pure and dainty symbol and rebranded it 'Kimilsungia' – to fully reflect Kim Sung's "peerless character" which is "blooming everywhere on the five continents". Coincidence? Hardly.
Sometimes the world (ex. NK) acts like a spoilt little brat. Sometimes it needs a little smack.
But most Kimmies are sweet, gentle creatures, filled with love, slow to anger.
A guiding tenant of national progaganda, citizens know that as long as they have Kim there is nothing to envy about their neighbours.
The number of Kimmies might be extremely limited, but their possibilities are endless.
The global elite hate to see a Kim boss winning, especially when it comes to the enrichment of weapon-grade uranium.
Straight out of a friendly Beijing, Sinovac would have been the vaccine most likely to be administered to North Koreans if Kim would have allowed it. Instead he rejected 3 million Sinovac doses in September, instructing they be sent to severely affected countries instead. Generous.
Juche has often been a fabled secret weapon in the North Korean DNA. Without assistance from outside, Koreans have had to find more within to achieve more, frequently citing the idea of Juche, or self-reliance to do so. Resistance to a man-made bio-weapon is clearly no different.
Kim may have been sceptical of China's Sinovac vaccine, but he was all too happy to splash out for Russia's Sputnik formulation. Perhaps a nod to the comradeship between the two allies, North Korea bought an undisclosed number of doses in December and started jabbing high-ranking Party members.
For the most part, North Korea has shunned nearly every effort to help it vaccinate its citizens. Instead it has slammed shut its already tightly controlled borders entirely.
North Korea might be known as the Hermit Kingdom but when we travel we need to stay in touch with the Big Man. As our national coach revealed at the 2010 Football World Cup, that can be via invisible phone, receiving advice directly from Kim Jong-il on how to lead the team to victory. We lost that one, for the record.
When you buy a Kimmie, you also receive one of Kim Jong Un’s lofty titles. We did not make up these titles. A title is more than just power; it's an identity. Each title comes with a description that situates its owner appropriately inside the Kimdom.
North Korea is a nation born out of the very flames of war. Both Capitalism and Communism, the two dominant ideologies that reshaped the world during the 20th century, could not defeat each other during the 1950s, even after levelling everything else in their path on the Korean peninsula. Such a legacy is not easily forgotten not least because no peace treaty was ever signed. As such, Kimmies still march on towards that one great "final victory". As an Iron-Willed Commander, you lead that pack from the very front.
“At the forefront of our revolution, there is our comrade Kim Jong-un standing as the great successor." Since its genesis, the North Korean state has always been led by a peerless quasi-mythical leader bearing the Kim name. Beginning with Kim il-sung, ordained by the Soviets, the power of the state has passed down through his son Kim Jong-il and finally his grandson, Kim Jong-un. Each has brought something new to the continuing Revolution. As a Kimmie, now it's your shot to inject some 'personality' into this iconic cult of personality.
Who said autocrats can't multitask? No one in North Korea that's for sure. There's not an arm of the country that Kim doesn't touch and for good reason – the man is a veritable god. Administrating a nation isn't even going to cause him to break a sweat. Specialization is for insects. True leaders like yourself are a beacon of a hope for every bureaucrat, apple cart and conscripted soldier alike.
Important to note the priorities in that one. Party first. Nation second. Frankly, it's the Kim way. Like his father, Kim maintains the Kippumjo – or pleasure squad of two thousand women to provide entertainment, dancing, singing, massages and other services. He also notoriously doesn't mind a tipple. So grab yourself a beer and settle in.
The Kim family mythology is intrinsically and insuperably tied up with the idea of divine power which has its origins in folklore. There is a long-held myth that the divine king Hwanung turned a bear Ungnyeo into a woman. The son they bore, Dangun, is said to have founded Korea. The Kim's borrow from this folk story, tying up their own history and birth stories with Mount Paektu, the highest peak in Korea and the place where the Dangun myth is said to have occurred. As a Kimmie, you inherit those powers and that absolute rejection of your own mortality.
Whatever your view on the Democratic People's Republic of Korea, one thing is indisputable. By virtue or by sheer luck, the regime has found a way to survive when so many other leaders have been swept aside in the throes of revolution, greed or war. Not the Kims and not for you, sitting at home playing 4-dimensional chess. You've managed to fashion an existential threat out of a 1930s agrarian society. Well played.
The mythology of the Kim family is long and beautiful and if nothing else, unquestionable. Kim's father was said to born near the lake adjacent to Mount Paektu, also called Heaven Lake. When he died, the frozen over water cracked "so loud, it seemed to shake the heavens and the Earth". May your rule be just as earth-shattering.
The stated mission of the Kim family is to protect the nation from its many enemies and oppressors. To do so, Kim isn't afraid to make sacrifices when necessary. Like when he sacrificed his uncle to an anti-aircraft gun. We hope you'll be just as ruthless in your pursuit of what is right.
When Kim, a four-star general, delivered his first public address he reminded the world that "the days are gone forever when our enemies could blackmail us with nuclear bombs." Now we have a big red button of our own and you, as a Kimmie, are charged with pressing it whenever you feel the least bit anxious.
Socialism may have gone out of fashion with the rise of the American 'me first' mentality, but some of us still believe there's still room for a responsible government providing the necessities of everyday life without resorting to genocide for some reason. Until that day comes however, we have you. Burn for us.
Like David, you've been brought here to slay the modern day Goliath, Uncle Sam. The metaphor is fitting with America very much the big, burly idiot who slays first and asks questions later. But you, with your nifty little slingshot and keen eye are ready to punch above your weight and fell the stumbling superpower before it hurts itself.
The future is Web3. The future is NFTs. He who controlth the Shiba, controlth the world. Thank god, you're here then with your big old brain and cold wallet storage. Kim nicked US$400 million in crypto in 2021 and he sure needs someone to HODL it for him.
An apolcalypic Armadeus. The Leondaro Davinci of the Nuclear Age. You'd think North Korea wouldn't be the place to stretch your creative muscles but frankly you'd be wrong. One of the official slogans of the DPRK is to “turn the whole country into a socialist fairyland” – a dream that has bequeathed its own sense of elegance onto the Hermit Kingdom. As Kim's father said, you must “make tireless efforts to create architecture amenable to his people”. So too must you lead, with style.
Ok so close your eyes and forget about the two previous Kims, whose likeness can be seen throughout Pyongyang and whose legacies are celebrated annually. If you don't count those two, with their bronze statues to boot, then we have some great news. We think you're the best there's ever been. And still, so young!
Despite North Korea often making headlines for launching missiles, there's far less written about its illustrious space program. Run by NADA (Kim's answer to NASA), it has so far focused on launching satellites into orbit with a desire to expand into military recon. Either way if aliens do ever invade, North Korea is pleased to know that you're at the ready to smoke some intergalactic ass.
Most Korean military titles are identical no matter which side of the demilitarised zone (DMZ) you stand. With a few fairly big exceptions. Once you've exhausted all the regular commissed titles, the North has a few added extras that sit up the top of the military tree including Grand Marshall and Marshall of the Republic. You, as Supreme Commander, sit even above those beefcakes.
Congratulations. As people who aren't going to see the next one, we can safely say this century is the most important one. So what is in store for you? Well, we're not fortune tellers, certainly North Korea does not have them. Or really any kind of paganism. What the DPRK does have in way of spiritual belief is Cheondosim, a kind of Korean shamanism officially followed by around 13% of the population. They even have some minor political representation with the Cheondoist Chongu Party. Who said North Korea wasn't democratic? Not us. Anyway it hinges on the belief that the world is created from within, that god is inherent to the being of everything. What does this all mean? Well you create your own destiny and yours is to lead us all into salvation and hopefully our children into 2100.
Titles are extremely important to the Kim family, helping them differentiate themselves from the Democratic Peoples they so dutifully lead. With each eventual successor, a Kim can emphasise certain traits and position themselves in new and dynamic ways. But for all the pomp and ceremony, the Supreme Leader is the classic – and the most impressive. So congratulations. You're el Supremo. Numero Uno. You're in a class of your own.
There's one particular image Kim has cultivated far more than his father and that has been as a leader that is loved by his people. It is in part why he has so closely modelled himself on his grandfather, a leader who is to this day remember in far fonder terms than his son. Ultimately, no matter how omnipotent we become, we all crave the same thing. Love. Luckily, as Dear Leader, you are someone people genuinely adore – and not just because of the ever present threat of reeducation.
All some suns do is shine, those lazy gaseous balls. You on the other hand are made from surer stuff. You cut through the darkness like a death ray and declare, 'there. That is where we're headed'. Lead on, noble Sun Ray. Shine on, you faithful orb.
Sun rise, sun set. Different year, same Kim. Did you know that plenty of astrologers have gone ahead and analysed your Kimmie's charts and drawn some surprising conclusions about you? They say that you have "Sun placed in the fiery sign Sagittarius with retrograde Mercury and Jupiter. This has made you intelligent, adventurous, ambitious and highly competitive." Tick, tick, and tick. They also say you have "strong abilities and energies. As per this planetary position, he will strongly crave for freedom and will want to break the shackles imposed upon him and his country". Go get them tiger. In Kim, we trust.
The communists have had a few false stops and starts haven't they? From Angola to Azerbaijan, there's been some good ideas, some handsome beards, plenty of cigars, but not a whole lot of...longevity. Never mind the past. It's time to forget all of that, skirt past the present and gaze onwards to the future. Just as you rise, so too does a new communist day dawn. Here's hoping yours is a bit more successful than the last few attempts.
You've taken some cues from the past, sure. You've styled your hair like grandad's. You've kept dad's harem. But when push comes to shove you're doing something mean to it. Do it better than anybody you ever seen do it. Screams from the haters, got a nice ring to it. I guess every superhero need his theme music. In case you're wondering, when you're not blasting Kayne from the palace speakers, you go to the national orchestra. Class.
There's a lot resting on your shoulders. A lot of responsibility, a lot of people relying on you, watching your every move. But damn, son, you've got some. You don't always play by the rules, but you get result – and everyone respects results. We do just need to point out that this title exempts rule over the armed forced. Frankly, after what you did last time, we're not surprised.
Light is a powerful motif in North Korea. In a world full of darkness, light is symbolic of truth and good – and it naturally shines most brightly from north of the 38th parallel. The irony of course is that a satellite shot from above tells the opposite story. But propaganda aside, you're a true leader and I'll be damned if you don't shine brighter than Mt. Paektu on Sacred Mother Of The Revolution Day.
Admiration is central to the myth of the Kims. When Kim Jong il died, crowds cried until they collapsed. His son went as far as to ban laughter on the 10th anniversary of il's death. Luckily, you don't need to sanction anything. The love you receive is real. It's vital. You can rule people with generosity and spirit or with an iron fist. Your fans will only love you more.
Well, that's what a cult of personality is isn't it? Those who find themselves at the centre of them don't do so by chance. No matter their your intentions, you're charismatic, charming and dare I say, disarming? Especially of your opponents.
Christianity is banned in North Korea with followers of the sect heavily persecuted. There's a reason for that. There is no god but god, they say, and we already have you. Descended from the peaks of Mount Paektu, you came here for a reason. So lead us to salvation, ser.
“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, the wisdom to know the difference" is fine for some, but not you sir. You're the omnipotent leader of your own Kingdom. By sheer force of will, you're able to boldly change history.
Kim wasn't what you'd call a Grade-A student. As a child, he was privately educated at an elite school in Switzerland. But of that time, those closest to him recall that he was more interested in football and basketball than class. We assume because he was already streets ahead of the other boffins in the class room. What does this mean for you? Look, we're not really sure if we're being honest. But hell, you're the one with those big old beautiful brains. You tell us what it means.
You are a man of many talents. Like Kim Jong Il's track record as a published, award-winning writer of 1500 books on cinematography and the inventor of the burrito, every great invention in the history of the world can be traced back to you. You were the inspiration for the hit series Macgyver and can build a Kimdom with nothing more than a 1MB Floppy Disk, a match and the power of Juche. You have been mentioned in the same breath as Mozart, Tesla and Einstein but we all know that doesn't serve you just justice.
Juche. Funny old word. Means you can fend for yourself. It's the spirit of North Korea, crafted under Kim's grandfather Kim il-sung. He took it so far as to reward factory workers who went above and beyond with awards recognising their juche. Hell, you've got it in spades and you'd want to when the rest of the world is pointing bazookas at you. But we're sure you're up for the job.
The sun is central to all human stories. Literally, the earth revolves around it. It's fitting then you've been recognised as The Great Sun. People gravitate towards you but they know you demand respect. Get too close and they'll only get burned. Flame on, King.
Nobody is superiorer than you. Interestingly, the word superior is derived from the Korean words 김정일, which mean Kim Jong Un. That's is not a coincidence. You willed this word into existence simply by being better than everyone else. There is a reason you are leading the metaverse. Not because you want to, but because you've been chosen to.
When you waggle into the room, people notice. More often, they bow. They can't help it, they recognise a leader when they see one. Leaders from across the world visit you to ask for your sage advice and to bask in your presence. You lead leaders that lead leaders. You were asked to lead the world but you choose the metaverse instead. You know that land is limited but the metaverse is limitless. You know that, like the universe, your leadership knows no bounds and is omnipresent.
Honestly, this sounds like something Trump would say. You can see why the Orange man travelled halfway around the world just to shake Kim's hand and smile for the cameras. He'd do it for you too. You're unbelievable. The best we've had. After all, it takes someone special to hoist a sitting president over the DMZ and make history. Just another day for you.
Without equal and without rival. Frankly, it better stay that way if they know what's good for them. They know you sacrificed your uncle with an anti-aircraft gun right? No wonder there's no competition...
This title is soaked in history and destined for people that light up the room. Yes, I'm looking at you. No, I'm not talking about lighting up. The title was given to Kim Jong-Un by state media in anticipation of a rare ruling party congress seen as His formal "coronation". This title says it all: Firey. Powerful. A little gasey. That's you in a nutshell.
The DPRK's first leader was Kim Il Sung, revered in the DPRK as the 'Great Leader'. Sure, granddad single-handedly fought off the Japanese imperalists, but you elevated what it means to be a Great Leader to new heights. Your rubenesque figure, knowledge of Disney and keen eye for basketball players that are on their way out is something no mortal can compete with.
Jesus was big until you came along. Sure, Jesus had a way with water, but did he magically descend from Heaven? I think not. You, on the other hand, floated down from heaven like a big, heavy magestic snow flake, brightening up the sky as you graced us with your magnificent presence.
Talk is cheap. Actions speak volumes. It's why you have a propaganda department to spread the good word – and your scorecard when you're finished at the Links.
Mount Paektu is the holy mountain, the source of Korean divinity. It has long been a sacred place, central to the mythologies of both Korea. It is where gods are born and countries are founded. And you friend, you're its star.
88 long years left. It's a big task, for some. Not for you. You're decentralized, you live on forever on the blockchain. Time is just a capitalist construct, invented in the West to enslave the working masses. But god, it makes a hell of a title. Even for a cool-headed commie like yourself.
The world is like a castaway right now, cut loose in the grand old ocean, searching the night sky for a sign. Like Bon Jovi we're living on a prayer right now. Bring us home, dear commander. Guide us to a safe harbour. Make us whole again.
Let's unpack this one. A saint is already unimpeachable – they're vessels through which God moves after all – but you're already a God. You've outranked all of them. Even Saint Joseph and that homie could fly.
People's sex lives are largely closeted in North Korea. It's considered anti-social behaviour given that the family unit is at the heart of society. Kim on the other hand is a sexual being and he has the title to prove it. So do you. Now give us that sweet, sweet honey.
North Korea has imported many of the artistic flairs of the Soviet Union, that cradle of communism. As many of Kim's peers died or were forcibly removed, its architecture and especially its art became the last of a dying breed. One of a kind. A bit like you.
Any old tyrant can strike fear into the hearts of his enemies. But how many can strike a chord and a key? We count just one, you old sea dog. While you detest K-Pop, you have cultivated your own brand of music and your own supergroup, Moranbong. Put them on, dim the lights, slip off your worker's shoes and hit that high note. You deserve it.
.png){kind=icon}
.svg){kind=icon}
.svg)
